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Monday, June 24, 2013

I'm Not Bleaching My A$$HOLE!

So you may or may not have noticed- I've been gone awhile.  Nothing tragic, but just a lot of life getting in the way.  Not that I haven't done my share of projects in the past 8 months, but my creativity has been low.  Really low.  I've just had a problem with inspiration.  When you look around here where I live, there are lots of people living behind miles and miles of brick and black iron fences.  There is no trash in the median, no weeds, no graffiti, no bad pedicures and no dirty cars.  Our parking lots at the grocery mega-store are free of grease stains and cigarette butts.  We have choices beyond what is even reasonable as humans to be able to digest in a day.  

I really thought that years ago when the women's movement was new, and I was young, that having having choices was a good thing.  We burned our bras in solidarity, and then somewhere along the way we turned on each other.  The competition to 'have it all' and 'be it all' gave us euphemisms like 'supermom' and we wore those badges with honor.  And then it just got ugly.  I'm glad I am not a young mother today, because what the overloaded media has put on y'all is just disgusting to me.

Every event in your child's life MUST be some BFD, chronicled and celebrated by scrapbooks and postings, and tweets. It's not enough to bake a cake for a birthday, there should be a cupcake tree stacked full of overly-frosted and bedazzled little gems, in step with the theme of the day carefully orchestrated for all to admire.

And you women with the 10 Christmas trees in your home- guess what?  You don't have more Christmas Spirit than me, just a bigger bottle of Adderall.  I recently read an article in a magazine about how a mother and daughter choose a different 'theme' for Christmas each year- this year it may be 3 French Hens, or mauve and pink, but they buy all new ornaments and see who can 'out-do' (read out-shop) the other for some kind of woman prize of I don't know what.  So I'm going to say this for all of you right now- just stop it! STOP! We don't give a shit!

And I realize this is not a new trend, but as women we now are expected to have attractive assholes.  Really?!?  REALLY???  Cuz I was looking 'down there' with a mirror the other day admiring a bikini wax, which believe me in the 1970's was not even a term women used, and I have an episiotomy scar, and I was thinking it wasn't beautiful, but I wonder when it became necessary to care that this area was 'lovely'.  I have to admit, the idea of vagazziling was intriguing to me, being a lover of the bling, but I am drawing the line at bleaching.  It's like the last thing we as women should have to care about competing over, and yet now there it my asshole *pretty enough*.

Here is what I want you to know- what your kids and family cares about is just spending time with you.  The days after Lyme took away my six-figure sales job and I was bedridden and calm are some of the days my kids remember most.  Not because I was sick, but they could just lie on 'the big bed' next to me, and we could talk, they read books to me, we watched movies and got real one on one time.   It was worth more to them than any fancy shopping trips to the mall or trips out of the state and they were just glad to not be competing with a Blackberry. 

This whole competition for 'more' really just leaves you with less.  The brainwashing and neuro-marketing that has been done in this country has you all clamoring for the worthless junk in excess.  Just stop. Put down your phone. And just spend some time being still.  I think you'll be surprised at the value it has. 

All My Best

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